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Scratch that

I'm no longer a non-smoker. Just had a cigarette. I sat on the stoop outside my door, smoking a cigarette, pondering my day, my life and everything going on around me. The kind of self-conversation I've always enjoyed with just me and a smoke. I suppose I could possibly replace the cigarette with something else, but for now the habit has stuck, and it works best with a cigarette. I listened to the rain fall on the corrugated plastic above me, felt the cool and crisp night air, and blew toxic circles of carelessness.

It will take a stronger motivation than just me on my own to give that up.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
technopatra
Jan. 10th, 2008 10:18 pm (UTC)
Stumbling is part of recovery. Don't give up!

You don't have to give up that you-time. Instead of buying that next pack, buy a bottle of kiddie bubbles (or make your own out of dishwashing liquid and water and a piece of wire) and blow soap bubbles instead.

Remember every smoke puts money in the pockets of the people you despise, and makes your body have to spend energy fighting poisons instead of improving your fighting skills.
henrylyne
Jan. 10th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
Back around 2000 I pretty much cut smoking out of my work day. I realized I was smoking as a way to socialize with my co-workers. That 10 minutes I spend smoking on my stoop is the next thing I want to cut out.

After that all that's left is the smoking after drinking habit. I'm ok with not beating that one just yet.
(Deleted comment)
henrylyne
Jan. 11th, 2008 07:38 am (UTC)
I always thought that if I had kids I would likely quit. So, maybe you could set me up with a hot fertile girl, and set the stage for us to get pregnant. Or you could give me your firstborn.

I think I will focus on cutting down on my smoking even further. Eliminate the one-a-day cigarette I would have late at night. Then I'm just left with the smoke-when-I-drink cigarettes.

If I think of anything else...
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )